Is dairy secretly making your menopause symptoms worse?

First things first, there’s nothing inherently good or bad about any food. But when you’re in menopause (or dancing around the edges of it), dairy can sometimes feel like it’s plotting against you. Whether or not you should eat dairy products is something women ask me about constantly.

On the one hand, the dairy industry and conventional medicine insist that if you don’t eat dairy, you’re putting your bone health at risk. On the other, many health professionals (the kind you might once have called ‘alternative’) argue that dairy fuels low-grade inflammation, triggers food intolerance, saps your energy, and can mess with your skin.

If you’re over 40 and wondering why you feel more bloated, sluggish, or spotty after your beloved cappuccino, you’re not imagining things. Midlife changes can crank up your sensitivity to certain foods - especially dairy. So, let’s look at why milk-based products can be a menopause minefield, and what you can do about it.

(For the record, I’m a big cheese fan personally. But menopause has a way of rewriting the rules.)

The case for keeping dairy in your diet in menopause

Dairy products do have beneficial nutrients. There’s calcium, protein, vitamins D and B12, and phosphorus, all of which matter when you’re trying to keep your bones strong and energy steady in menopause.

Let’s talk about calcium, because it’s the one you’re most often warned about. After 30, your bone breakdown happens faster than bone-building. When you add menopause into the mix, declining oestrogen means bone loss can accelerate. That’s why many women are told dairy is essential.

It’s true that the calcium in milk-based foods is more easily absorbed than calcium from some plants. But dairy isn’t your only option (more on that later).

Cow’s milk also contains conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), a type of omega-6 fatty acid linked to weight management and lower risks of diabetes. But before you start thinking dairy is your menopausal BFF, let’s look at the other side of the story.

Is dairy bad for you in menopause?

Here’s the thing: your body wasn’t really designed to drink milk after infancy. Some cultures have adapted genetically, but many of us haven’t, and food intolerance can flare up in midlife.

Two of the biggest issues dairy causes are digestive distress and skin problems, both of which often get worse during menopause.

If you’ve noticed bloating in menopause has become your new normal, dairy could be a major player. Here’s why:

• Most IBS symptoms are linked to bacterial overgrowth in the small intestine (SIBO). The bacteria love feeding on milk and cream, fermenting them into gas. Hello, bloat, constipation, and diarrhoea.

• Declining digestive enzymes and stomach acid in midlife mean you’re less equipped to break down lactose and milk proteins. Even if you were fine before, you might now be dealing with food intolerance you didn’t sign up for.

• Lactose-free milk might help if it’s lactose causing trouble, but it still contains the same sugar content, just broken down into different molecules.

Let’s break down some of the less appealing stuff in dairy:

• Hormones – Dairy contains oestrogen and growth hormones. Even in small amounts, these can tip the scales if you’re already struggling with oestrogen dominance (a common driver behind heavy periods, breast tenderness, and fibroids).

• Sugar – A cup of milk has about three teaspoons of lactose, which can disrupt blood sugar and trigger inflammation.

• Inflammation and cancer risk – Some evidence links dairy to higher cancer risks and chronic inflammation, although research is mixed.

• Antibiotics – Non-organic dairy can contain residues, potentially affecting your gut microbiome and immune system.

• Acne and skin issues – Hormones in dairy can disrupt insulin and aggravate spots or rosacea. Midlife hormonal shifts already make skin more reactive.

How will I feel if I give up dairy?

Everyone’s different, but these are some of the most common benefits my clients report when they ditch dairy—especially if they’re in menopause:

• Less bloating and digestive discomfort (sometimes dramatically less)

• Fewer headaches

• Clearer skin and fewer breakouts

• More energy and fewer afternoon slumps

• Easier weight management

• Better sleep (less congestion and inflammation can help)

What are the alternatives if I don’t want to eat dairy?

You’ve got loads of options, especially now supermarkets have caught up with the plant-based crowd. My favourite non-dairy milks are almond, coconut, soya, oat, and rice (usually unsweetened to keep sugar down). Perfect in porridge, overnight oats, or your morning cuppa.

How to get your calcium without dairy

Skipping dairy doesn’t mean you’ll end up with brittle bones. But you do need to be intentional about where you get calcium:

• Tofu (200–800mg per serving)

• Canned sardines (351mg per tin)

• Sesame seeds (280mg in 2 tbsp)

• Fortified soya milk (250mg per 200ml glass)

• Chia seeds (179mg in 2 tbsp)

• Cooked kale (177mg per cup)

• Almonds (100mg per small handful)

• Broccoli (43mg per cup)

Quick note on spinach: it has calcium but also oxalic acid, which stops you absorbing much of it. You’re better off with kale, tofu, and fortified plant milks.

But, wait, I couldn’t give up…

You don’t have to go cold turkey. Some women find that just reducing dairy helps a lot with bloating and food intolerance in menopause. If pizza is your one true love, maybe keep that and cut dairy elsewhere.

If you have a diagnosed intolerance or allergy, though, total elimination is the way to go—at least for a while to let your gut heal.

Ready to see if dairy is behind your bloating and menopause symptoms?

One of the easiest ways to find out is to keep a simple food and symptom diary. You’ll be amazed what patterns pop up when you track what you eat and how you feel—especially around digestion, sleep, skin, and mood.

I’ve designed beautiful food journals to make this easier (and less of a chore). You can check them out here and start connecting the dots.